I never realized how one single decision can shape your entire life…until this year. Funny enough, we make decisions every single day of our lives, and a lot of times these decisions are made subconsciously. When we consciously make a decision, it’s usually at our breaking point, a painful moment, where we tell ourselves, “You know what, I can’t do this anymore” and like that, we make a change. But, why does it take us getting to that breaking point to make a change that can truly impact our entire lives moving forward?
Sometimes, we are so wrapped up in success. Or we fear the real change we need to make, because hell, that will change everything else we do in our day to day lives. And that’s too much to process…that’s overwhelmingly scary.
In 2011, I made a career move. I needed to start over, with new faces, new challenges, new friends, a new life. My previous employer had witnessed me go through some terribly painful moments in my life… losing my father to a heart attack, losing my pawpaw to cancer, choosing to remain in a mentally abusive relationship, to contracting a disease that would remain in my body forever. I had hit rock bottom and could barely get myself up in the mornings to show up for work. When I did show up, I cried throughout the day and had to be consistently checked on to “make sure I was having an OK day”. I was embarrassed, so I quit my job, and made a career change to a new company where no one knew my background.
I needed to feel achievement again. In my past, I was an all-star softball player, consistently receiving awards and recognition. I grew up believing that’s what life was about. The achievement, and I sure as hell wasn’t feeling that at this time of my life.
When I first started working at this new company, I was in great shape. I was around 115lbs and flaunting my style in this amazing new place full of young, good looking, men and women. I had continued playing in local sports teams and had continued to make time to go for runs.
Within 1 month of employment, I had already made a significant impact and name for myself. I had never sold anything a day in my life, but something came out of me. A crazy drive I didn’t know I had. I went for it, and I went hard. I became the top performing sales representative in a matter of months. I went from making 30K/year at my previous company, to 75K in my first year at my new employer. I became known as the “Powerhouse” sales rep and everyone wanted to watch me and know what I was doing. This felt right. This is what I knew I had in me…so I started working harder…and harder. 2 years later, I closed the largest deal in my division, bringing in a paycheck of 60K in a single month. Are you kidding me? Yeah, that’s what I thought. For some reason, it didn’t feel right to make that kind of money, but holy crap, let’s buy a new car!
I was recognized in every sales meeting, every sales conference, and spoke in many meetings to explain to peers what it was that I was doing exactly to achieve that kind of success. I had more sales trophies than I had room for. But what I was doing wasn’t normal. I started that company to build a new reputation for myself, and that I did, but it was all done out of pain. I was putting in 70-80 hours a week, and that is just not realistic nor healthy for any human being, especially if you don’t LOVE what you are doing. While I loved the recognition… it’s what drove me, I did not love myself. So, I put myself on the back-burner.
Shortly after closing that large deal, which don’t get me wrong, I felt like a BOSS, I was promoted to be a Sales Manager. For the next few years, I built my own team from scratch, and what a team I built. With this came more hours, more stress. I was the first one in the building every single day, and one of the last ones to leave. But I had a job to do and it was to develop my people to perform in the role, while achieving their goals, and love to come to work everyday. I would spend hours trying to develop the BEST team meeting decks EVER seen, so that team meetings were exciting and unique! Hell, I had music popping up in random places, hilarious photos of my reps that I found through Facebook stalking them, while still covering and executing the overall business strategy. Next thing you know, I’m being asked to speak to management and leaders to explain what it was that I was doing to create such a powerful sales team. While I was getting all the recognition I could imagine, I didn’t feel like I was achieving anything. I stopped winning awards…which had been proof to me that I was doing it “right”. I was making close to 200K/year at this point, and that still wasn’t enough to make me happy.
In 2015, I felt the weight pour on. I had no time to eat, no time to sleep, no time to work out, no time for me. I put on close to 50lbs alone in the year 2015 and I fit into not a single thing in my closet except 2 pairs of stretchy pants. So, I wore those same pants, every single day, through the duration of my time at this company. I hadn’t worked out in over a year nor had I done any type of physical activity, what so ever.
When 2016 rolled around, I was the largest I had ever been. I started sweating regularly, although I wasn’t even feeling hot. It was January/February for crying out loud! Why was I sweating so much?
I started crying behind closed doors. I was too strong of a female for anyone to see my crying. I had come too far to go back to that feeling of depression, that feeling that I wasn’t doing anything right, that feeling that I was losing control. What on earth was I missing???
To lose weight would require me to get to the gym regularly, to learn how to eat differently, to try new things, and I didn’t have time for that. Oh…the disease of being busy…But being busy meant I had more opportunities to be successful. And being busy meant I was flipping my old life the middle finger and saying, “Watch me!”. And watch me they did.
Trophies, awards, recognition out of this world, #1 sales rep, biggest deal closer, promotions, best manager, 6 figure income. I was winning it all.
But I didn’t feel good. I hadn’t been to the dentist in years, shame on me, so I decided I was going to go. My bill was $5K! What the crap? I deserved it though. Never had a cavity in my life, and now I had 5.
I decided to go to the doctor as well, and was diagnosed with another new disease. One that can cause cancer. I also had high blood pressure and high cholesterol. If I didn’t find a way to take care of myself, this was going to be the life I choose. A life of disease. They say everything comes at a price. And I paid a hefty one.
So, I had to make a decision.
A REAL DECISION.
And that decision was me.
In March 2016, I closed my eyes, and handed over my resignation letter, and I started me.
I hired a life coach (Moreseekers.com), a personal trainer (FreeYourFitness24.com), and a health coach (ResetYourself.com). The best investment I’ve ever made in my life… went towards the development of me.
Deep down, I knew I wanted a family some day. I knew I wanted to be a coach, but not a sales manager type of coach. I knew I needed creativity, which was inside of me, I just had to find a way to get it back. I knew I needed energy to inspire others to achieve their dreams someday. And to achieve these things, I knew I needed to love myself first.
And it started with how I felt about myself. The fact that I fit into none of my clothes was a clear sign that I needed to start with physical health. I set a goal to lose 30lbs in 90 days. I thought I was pushing it, but I also know you have to set goals that are challenging, not ones you know you can achieve easily.
I committed to 90 days. And in 90 days, I lost 30lbs.
In 120 days, I lost 40lbs. Today, I am down almost 50lbs! With every pound I lost, I became physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually stronger.
It was hard. In fact, this was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I did it. I became a hero to myself. And most importantly, I didn’t do it alone. I got help. I got coaches, I gathered people around me who believed in me, who saw something in me, even if I didn’t see it in myself.
The truth is, the world is not going to slow down. If you want to keep up, if you want to succeed, if you want to be the best, you must be your own hero. Not to your team, not to your boss, not to your company, not even to your family.
Be a hero to yourself by choosing you.
It all starts with one single…
It’s important that you understand the process that led my journey to be FOCUSED on self-growth, and not about shedding the weight.
As I continue to share my journey and processes with you, please know that I understand there is not ONE right way or system that fits everyone. The best structure is simply the one that allows you to stick with your plan as consistently as possible.
What I can tell you is…
Every next level of your life will demand a different YOU.